time is flying by i cant believe how much weve done already. as a side note i cant figure out how to do caps or apostrophes or anything else on this damn computer, im not being gramatically incorrect on purpose nor did i not capitalize god on purpose. i forget what i already wrote and i lost my thoughts about it anyway...so moving on yesterday we went to grandada which, to me, appeared almost the exact same as antigua, guatemala. luis said that the two cities were the same age and so it makes sense they have the same brightly colored houses lining the streets, old churchs crumbling little by little, and invasive signs in english advertising "breakfast" at "kathys bagel shop"...kristin and i were talking to an older rotartian guy who came along with our group to grandada and i was trying to explain the sadness i feel about globalization. i feel like im running out of time to see these different cities and places before theyre overcrowded with mcdonalds and pizza hut. ive heard my share of arguments about why globalization is a good thing but i remain unconvinced, what is the goal anyway-to raise every countries standard of living to the united states? something is deeply wrong with our culture if you havent noticed, we spend more on the family dog than we give to feed a starving child, we attack iraq and wage war on "terrorism", we do all sorts of disgusting things and i use we because despite many modes of thinking to the contrary we are connected, not just individuals but an entire society. which brings me to sobrinos book no salvation outside the poor. i wrote down quotes cuz its not my book and im not allowed to underline. here are, in my opinion, some of the most striking. "the question is not whether someone looks for god, but whether he looks for god where god himself said he was, in the poor of the world". "its the bargain of our times-in order to save, there is no need for generocity or sacrifice. it recalls the old fallacy:that it is enough to be "poor in spirit", without anysort of participation in real poverty". "solidarity=unequals bearing one another mutually" "the west is still largely sunk in the sleep of cruel inhumanity, ignoring, suppressing, covering over terrible realities for which it is mainly resposible" "the poor dont exist, why is there being instead of nothingness? now it seems there is nothing, and that provokes nothing, no indignation, no protest." "the poor dont even have a name. giving a name means making things real, calling them into existence". to go off the last point, i know i have very little to give for the two months im down here. if anything, i will receive more love, more hospitality, more wisdom than i can possibly repay but the thing is i dont feel worthless, at least not yet. if there is one thing im aiming to accomplish it is to give the poor a name-its so hard to rethink about the work there is to do in "developing" the third world in terms of relationships. Aynn Setright came to speak to us the other day and one of her comments was about the USs relationship with nicaragua and what the future of that relationship will look like. obviously we have nothing to be too proud of, the iran contra scandal and all the harm weve caused and continue to cause the poor of the country, but she made the observation that the places the tourists go have the most people begging for a hand out. the tourists get off their boat, go look for a bathroom, drop some money on sovenirs and get back on the boat. while there can be little doubt that tourism is good for the economy she called into question the good of this relationship and i see the point. can we really believe that were helping the situation in the long run by developing a tourist industry without any focus on education, on healthcare, on community organizing-money doesnt magically fix things. but man did we feel like tourists in granada. the hardest thing of the day was when an old man came and begged for some money, after this speech about how handouts arent the way to sustain real change of the system and the recommendation that we shouldnt give handouts, i had to look into his eyes and say "lo siento" which im pretty sure translates as i feel it (really it means im sorry). but i wasnt lying, i really really felt it. we have so much, so much! and somehow im realizing that its not enought to be grateful for what you have, you have to give it away in a very real way to those who dont have enough...how do we keep accumulating and accumulating when others are dying of hunger elsewhere? its so much harder back home, i think aynn was right on again when she said our american culture is anesthetizing, you walk around feeling numb because just to exist youre burying reality, pushing unplesant thoughts, unpleasant people under a rug until they stop existing to you. but they do exist and they have a name, they have dignity and the thing is were connected to one another-we cant be saved as individuals, by having enough stuff to find happiness, thats what i think sobrino was getting at, no salvation outside the poor, they make us really see, they open our eyes, wake us up from this awful sleep and without them what are we doing? so maybe that made sense, maybe not these were my thoughts for the day and i have to add some of the other stuff we did: ruta maya for fiesta de mayo was a highlight the regae music was amazing and sung by guys with dreads down to their waists. an older afro-caribean guy recited some poetry too with amazing presence. we danced and had flor de cana. the east coast of nicaragua is where the indigenous people still live, they speak english and moskito and so for once i felt like i knew better what was going on than everyone else. my family is the best one in my unbiased opinion. the two boys, bryan and alvaro, are adorable and anita is my new buddy. dona norma is such a great cook that i might come back unrecognizably huge. there are way more people in my family, all great, that im sure ill have stories about late. also to add i checked my mcat scores today and im not devestated so yipee...i might be a spartan after all:)