question 5: someliberation theologians understand christ as liberator,while the Vatican worries that this term understates some aspects of salvation as it has been traditionally understood. how is your understanding of Christ's cross and resurrection being affected by what you see around you? what vision of Jesus did you bring with you? is it harder to believe in a Jesus who offers a personal relationship of faith to everyone? In what sense does Jesus save or liberate us? what does it mean to believe in or follow Jesus?

response:

Jesus this question is multifaceted! I never understood the commandment about taking the lord’s name in vain..what does that mean anyways? I guess I’m probably going to hell because I say Jesus Christ a lot out of habit: like the other day when I got stuck on the 105 and couldn’t get off. After I missed my stop and descended a good ten minutes in bus passing by all the normal stops where people were waiting to board because the bus was too lleno to accommodate more people and so it just kept going- it took me twenty minutes to walk back up that hill and I almost didn’t make it off the second time either because someone stepped on and was holding my shoe hostage until I shoved them with both hands and jumped off the moving piece of shit box of metal as it rattled away likewise I rattled off all the swear words I knew and continued to mutter under my breath until the walk helped me get over it and I arrived at work not hating Nicaragua anymore. I guess I was trying to keep it light with that story but alas I have to say something deeper about JC.

First of all how can you understate salvation? I’ve hear LT criticized for emphasizing the humanity of Christ over his divinity but if you ask me that makes more sense anyways to see him as human first. Like Yamil said the other day, what good is a theology that doesn’t affect your life; JC was about radically changing the social norms and the life of el pueblo here on earth in this lifetime with his cross and if anything the danger lies in thinking of him as anything less than fully human and relegating his freaking challenging radical message to the spiritual or post-mortem realm. I guess my vision of JC is this humble, amazing, creative, super intelligent, charming, personable, approachable, relatable, kindhearted, spiritual, compassionate, aesthetically pleasing, confident man- all the best of humanity in this one guy. It’s funny because I can remember a point in my life where I was so incredibly self-righteous and hypocritical, my theology was precisely that-all about a personal relationship with Jesus but who the hell was I talking about? It’s hard to explain without feeling myself offending people or stepping on toes but since this is my reflection I feel the need to be honest and I guess sometimes it comes off as harsh.

I’ve started by realizing that at one point I was in that place myself but I find myself increasingly suspicious of people who use the term personal relationship with Jesus because one of the main things I’ve learned from Latin America is the importance of community and the view of salvation as something that was always meant for the collective, not the individual. While I have no doubts that God loves each and every one of his creations I don’t believe in praying for a parking spot as my mother and I have argued about or asking God for something like good luck on a test. Maybe if I’m really desperate I’ll cave in and say a quick prayer to calm the nerves but my heart’s not in it sincerely asking for a miracle to rearrange the bubbles on the scantron sheet. But the point is I don’t think this great mystery who is greater than great and larger than our minds can contain fits into our own personal pocket and it seems absurd to pray for an open parking spot. At the same time I believe God is closer to us than water is to a fish and that Jesus’ example of calling God abba is very relevant indeed. I’m guess what I’m not saying is that one shouldn’t have a personal relationship with Jesus but that I get freaked out if you keep talking about it and pushing it down people’s throats because who exactly is it that you’re talking about? I guess it comes off as the opposite of humble and it makes me question what vision of Jesus that person is walking around with and many times to my horror it’s not the Jesus I recognize but a twisted creation of someone’s own needs and desires. Even the Nazis had their God right?

So how is my understanding of Christ’s cross and resurrection being affected here? It’s flipping heavy. Some days it seems impossible to keep taking those steps and you stop for a second and ask yourself ‘what the hell am I doing here?’ Why did I choose this, why am I carrying around this enormous weight when I could just as easily drop it or pass it to someone else? I guess the biggest crosses here have been bearing the weight of our privilege, our government’s foreign policy both in the past and present, our participation in an oppressive system, the lack of protest or struggle for change, just having to sit and know that I’m a jackass and I cannot change the past. So to summarize, my vision of Jesus is constantly growing and changing but I cannot think of a better place for this to happen than the third world, if you’re really searching I think that’s where you find Christ-in the people who are closest to him by their very nature. Gracias a dios is more than just a phrase here, it’s a way of life just as this ‘savior’ of ours was a poor son carpenter.

Question 6: by now, you've hard a great deal about the role of the churches in Nicaragua. it is difficult not to be discouraged when hearing some of this history. one wishes for more Oscar Romeros, but there seem to be fewer saints of this sort in the church of Nicaragua. how is this experience affecting your understanding of yourself as a Catholic or Christian? are the churches responding to people's needs as they ought to today? if not, why not? what does it mean to bind yourself to a church while recognizing its inadequacies? is there a point at which such binding becomes impossible?

So being here in Nicaragua I’ve learned quite a bit about evangelical churches, including but not limited to Jehovah’s witnesses and my campo mom who attended the evangelical church instead of the catholic one in La Reina. The evangelical churches continue to grow while the Catholic Church shrinks each year especially among the youth. I was shocked to learn that Nacho, a friend from the base community of catorce de septiembre, attended an evangelical church in addition to the catholic cbc. In reality, it’s not uncommon for people to attend more than one church and at least one of them is Pentecostal if not all. It’s very hard for me to grasp what the appeal of these churches is exactly but here is a list of possible reasons we’ve either heard or come up with: attending the service is like a vacation from reality-no thinking, enthusiasm, music, no struggling, entertainment; it fills the need for community more than the catholic church; participation/everyone has a voice/it doesn’t matter your social economic status; women join in hopes of getting their husbands to join and follow the strict moral code-mainly stop drinking alcohol or stop abusing them; more emotion, charismaticism; the theology explains poverty to some degree, offers wealth in exchange for faith; the classic exchange for suffering now, salvation and riches in the future. Having conversations with people here like Don Leonardo and hearing him say things were better under Somoza, that the Sandinistas are to blame for rising prices of food and oil for all the social ills of the country and that Nicaragua is so poor because of the corruption of the government as well as the sins of the people. What kind of God is that? The God who condones a brutal dictatorship and punishes people with unreal poverty for the sake of their sinfulness or the corruption in their own lives and the lives of their leadership? For me, it’s very hard to grasp or understand this kind of belief.

As for the Catholic Church here I feel like when I answer people’s questions about what religion I follow especially after I explain we’re studying theology I saw much more than I intend when I answer “catolica”. It’s a weird contradiction because there are priests like Romero and Joe Mulligan and Rafael but for the most part the Catholic Church and it’s hierarchy are oppressive and on the side of the powers, not the poor. So what does it mean to work from within for change? At this point in my life I’m saying screw the system and as much as people try to justify staying in it and not leaving (I’ve had a couple conversations with Ryan about this) I’m not convinced I’m wrong. I see the point to a certain degree-Romero was an archbishop and never resigned the post although I’d argue he transformed it and essentially cut all ties to the hierarchy. But for the most part the majority of my heroes- Che, Paul Farmer, Ana Manganaro, and last but not least JC – they fucked the system in their own individual ways. I swear a lot more when I’m here sorry if that’s offensive but I feel the need to emphasize things and a well placed cuss word seems to do that.

The other piece is that I feel many of these structures are too far gone to be redeemed without total destruction in order to rise from the ashes. Jesus didn’t speak of renovating the Jewish faith or Israel’s relationship to Rome or the poor to the rich but he was all about total inversion and sometimes we soften edges that are meant to remain sharp. It’s easier to live that way. So is there a point at which binding becomes impossible? Yes. And if we haven’t reached it yet we’re certainly close in my opinion. I don’t ever see the Catholic Church changing enough, taking enough of a stand to be authentic to Jesus’ message; rather I see the possibility for small groups of committed people to start living like another world is possible-a phrase I’ve heard several times down here-and through them start a movement to change. And although I want to really have hope and while I have to believe it’s possible some days I lament for what a fucked up world we’re living in, days that we go to la Chureca or days when I meet teenagers pregnant with their fourth or fifth kid and without a husband it steals some of your idealism.

Question 7

So there haven’t been any real revelations or things I didn’t already know way down deep or in the back of my head-thing like I probably shouldn’t shop at Wal-Mart, that I need to stop buying clothes or at least be aware of the maquila situation, no more pizza hut or dominos, I would say that I won’t ever drink coca cola again but let’s be realistic here-I’ll cut back. Organic café from now on; there are all these ideas that I’ve always know were good and had reasons but without experiencing them or meeting with the women from the maquila or visiting the café plantations I had no concrete reasons like I do now. I also feel the need to share my experiences and not in the sense of this is what I did and saw although obviously that is part of it but that through these experiences I’ve seen realities and learned truths that others need to learn through me to come to very concrete lifestyle/ consumerist changes. So yes I need to learn more about politics but at the same time I have always been pessimistic about the possibility for changes to come from the top down, to me there is almost no hope that I can put in the political system even if ojala Barack wins.

Yes I need to live more simply in terms of pretty much everything in my life-how I spend money, what I wear, which businesses or labels I choose to support economically, how I spend my free time, etc, etc. The best and most challenging thing is to know how little you really need in this life and then to not only internalize that but see it being lived out and from a very powerful theology that challenges you in ways that make you want to puke at all you have and question just exactly why you have it or why you aren’t letting it go. I can’t remember his name right now but the pastor at CIETS who’d left the catholic seminary something Ruiz, I will never forget his words that day and what an example he was living with his life. It’s so simple and yet it’s so incredibly hard! Quizas more so in the US to separate yourself from the system and drop off the grid. I feel like I’m always waiting for some magical moment in the future to change things around in my life and start living out my principles-it’s always getting pushed off but by being here it reaffirms that the time is right now and that life is short what the heck are we doing with our days and how can we be wasting them away when you’ve walked in the footsteps of people who live in garbage dump or seen these intense problems and realities and really experienced them. So what am I going to do with the rest of my life? First off I’m gonna try my darndest to live simply and radically and not be sucked back into the consumerist nonsense of the United States of America.

Secondly I will continue to reflect on these experiences and these realities in the developing world that only heighten my desire to go to medical school and to get done pronto to start working and I mean sweating and bleeding to change things from the bottom up. I can’t surrender to hopelessness but rather the need to dream that another world is possible and the only way I know how to work for that kind of change is to live an example and throw myself into the service of others and I mean really sacrifice to see that hope reflected in others’ eyes. So if I do come back to Nicaragua and to Latin America it won’t be for quite some time-after med school and paying off loans- but I refuse to entrap myself in this idea that I need to work to buy a house and a car and support a family when my motivation has always lied in following my passion and being a free spirit and I can’t imagine dying without seeing the rest or at least majority of the world. So in regards to one of the last questions I continue to write my theology with each day I wake up in the morning and I try to keep in mind that the unexamined life is not worth living because some days it’s just easier to walk around numb but that’s the biggest sell-out of all.

question 4: seeing poverty everyday as you are now is different than workign in a poor neighborhood and going home to your apartment or dorm room at night. as one former Puleo student said, you go to bed hearing it and wake up smelling it. you see it every time you walk down the street. your awareness of suffering caused by poverty is much more acute and personal now. how is this experience of poverty influencing your understanding of God? some say that it's impossible to believe in God in the face of such suffering, while others say it's impossible not to believe. does it make sense to say that God is present in the suffering, even if God doesn't do the Exodus every day, or is this inadequate? could coming into contact with poverty help you understand your own poverty and your need for God?

response:
what a rough question. i admit í've been procrastinating, trying
to think of someway to answer this thoroughly, without oversimplifying
or making it overly complex but it's deficil. does it make sense to
say that God is present in the suffering? first i think we need to
define suffering because there is a difference between poverty and
suffering. in the campo this past weekend everyone was poor but they
were smiling, the pictures ryan took of his family give testimony to
the fact that those kids were happy, sometimes the situation gets ugly
and kids are undernourished or malnourished or the dad is an
alcoholic, etc, etc but i think it is very rare that suffering is
inflicted upon someone from the outside. obviously poverty is a
different thing, it was the mere chance of being born into a poor
family, in a certain part of the world that made them poor, the
structures that are systematic in their creation of those who don't
have, it could have just have easily been me without the opportunities
just like i did absolutely nothing to deserve the things i've been
given. there's a difference between the bad hand you've been delt by
life (or vice versa) and how you respond within yourself. i think
it's a very western idea to assume pain should be avoided and even
eliminated from one's life. so i guess that's my first point, that i
didn't make very well, that poverty does not equal suffering all the
time, nor are people who suffer necessarily poor. so if the question
is do i see god in the poor-i say absolutely yes, God was poor and he
called the poor to him, offered them salvation from their oppression
and liberation from their tears. where else would God be? in the
rich? if one sincerely could answer yes to that question than i'd
question what Jesus, what god they were following. but if the
question is do i see God in poverty, i'd say no. poverty is ugly,
it's dirty, it's smelly, it's cruel, it's scary and it's the fruit of
greed and sin and selfishness so how could God condone it let alone
have caused it? poverty itself is nothing to be romanticized because
it sucks, really sucks and it takes away a person's dignity and their
voice. but on the opposite spectrum excessive, disgusting consumerism
it could be argued does the same exact thing. so do i believe the
theology that we were learning yesterday in regards to some sectors of
the Pentecostal churches that you are poor because you don't have
faith, that you aren't blessed because of some hidden sin or defect
you possess and that the wealthy of this world are favored by God,
that they deserve everything God gives them? i think this is not a
god i want to know, this is not the god i find in Nicaragua or within
myself. it comes across to me as one of the many justifications for
horrible situations that the few wealthy want to maintain at the
expense of the rest and i still can't figure out why this greater
majority of people believe themselves to be bad, to be sinful? my
family is still trying to convert me to Jehovah’s witnesses but their
world view and view of human nature is so ugly and so harsh that i
can't help but wonder what they see of their own reality that i'm
missing? perhaps they see only the poverty and not the ´poor with
spirit´, the ones who smile and even though they have very little they
still have something that we are missing in the first world. so i'm
pretty sure i still have a lot to learn, and i'm afraid i'm not making
much sense or writing that understandably but who really understands
God, who understands why there is suffering in the world? you can ask
a million different people with a million different answers but if you
ask me i'll tell you i don't know, not completely, because any other
answer would be a lie, i see my family and they think they have the
entire truth, that they are Jehovah’s chosen ones and it's scary. i
don't know why the world is the way it is, i don't know why some
people were given shity hands and why others choose to ruin their
lives but i do know that the God i believe in is a humble servant, the
god i know doesn't side with the rich elite and make up reasons why
they have some kind of manifest destiny. and sometimes bad things
happen to good people but perhaps it's all a matter of perspective. i
think without coming into contact with poverty one has very little
chance of truly knowing this god; rather the god these people see will
be the classic enlightened english gentleman and somehow everything
gets wrapped up in personal sin and salvation and there is no
realization of reality, especially this reality of the poor. so once
again it comes down to perspective. i feel like i'm in the perfect
place to gain the perspective that i feel we need in the states, that
something about the way we live is drastically wrong. so maybe i
answered the question, maybe not but i'm going to go on asking it
either way.

question 3: living with a relatively poor family is one of the most significant parts of your trip. how is this experience of family shaping your understanding of what a Christian family is called to be? how does it feel to be a guest in your family's home? how does it make you feel about your own family? how is the experience of simple living with a family comfortable and uncomfortable? how does your experience of being a guest influence your own thoughts about the kind of hospitality you want to provide for others?

response:

so my family is middle class Nicaraguan which is quite different
from middle class US but also a world away from the rural family i
lived with last summer. i'm struck by how much they do have, three
tvs with cable, nintendo, cell phones...it seems like their aspiring
to the same level of consumerism and material possessions that we
have in the US and so the living simply part if i honestly look at it isn't
really present with this family. maybe my perspective is too far gone
i don't know but i feel just as privileged here.

it's a hard thing. the question states 'living with a
relatively poor family' and that's precisely the point i was trying
to make, poverty is relative and when i went to ben linder house last
week i heard a woman speak about the photography workshop she'd
done with kids from la trueca but coming from a childhood of refugee
camps herself she made this same point-poverty is relative, just as is
wealth. the thing that we need to get through our heads in the states
is that our way of life, our pace of consumerism is abnormal, the rest
of the world doesn't live like that, can't live like that because it
is simply not sustainable, and on closer look one might argue unjust
to live such a lifestyle. the phrase that keeps rolling through my
mind is 'live simply so that others can simply live'.
so i'm trying to throw in some positives about the family element
here in nicaragua and i'm afraid i'm coming off wrong here, my family
is the best...my brother and sister and two little brothers are lots
of fun and keep my occupied every minute that i'm home. my mom is
an amazing cook and they are always feeding me new and delicious
things, my older sister i have yet to go out dancing with but she is fun
as well. the strange thing is they are Jehovah’s witnesses and as such
hold some peculiar views but at the same time i feel like they aren't
that hardcore, maybe my father is. they sit down and have
conversations with me but they are definitely one sided and more than
just as far as my dad is the one who does all the talking, sometimes
someone can be so convinced they hold the truth and all of the truth
that dialogue becomes impossible. but i just sit and listen and who
knows by the end of this experience perhaps i'll be converted into
thinking it's the end of time and some other bizarre things in my
english version of their Jehovah’s witness magazine.
i perhaps feel a stronger familial connection with the staff at
AKF...even if they secretly think i'm serious and no fun because i
don't speak much or fill the room with my presence, i feel like they
were the first and greatest welcome that we could have ever hoped for.
Luis still blows my mind with how famous he should be, how great of a
man he is, all he's accomplished, his sense of humor. plus you Elena,
it really feels like from day one we walked into a family and in these
short short four weeks i feel so comfortable at the center that it is
like a second home. so what has it taught me about God, what he is
like? well if you think about it God is relational in nature if you
buy the trinity thing...father son and holy spirit share the very
essence of God-love. i've also been reinforced in my thinking that no
matter what label you wear-christian, buddhist, jew-the thing that
truly speaks is our works and how we treat one another. in that sense
i don't need to be told that AKF has anything to do with Christianity
to see that the work they do is good, that the staff has a piece of
God's glory in the way they care for us, the slow and clumsy gringos
with outstretched arms and open hearts. this is quickly dissolving to
cliché and sappy language but that's what families are all about
right? so if someone asked me what i liked best about Nicaragua,
while i might be tempted to say the trees, on deeper thought i'd have
to say the feeling i have on the way back from my social service site
and arriving to a place where i feel at home, with a family. and i
think that's what God wanted for everyone-to experience that feeling
of family and of love and it's precisely where things can go horribly
wrong, perhaps it's the greatest sadness to see children without
that...it makes me think of my family (biological that is) and be even
one hundred times more grateful for them and the childhood i
enjoyed-full of love and with two parents that still love one another
so much. i didn't do anything to deserve that but i can't help but
feel grateful and to feel so incredibly sad for the kids that didn't
have that growing up. how can it not affect your image of God, your
sense of who you are and what you're doing on this earth, your sense
of value and worth? el fin.

question 2: every day when you walk down the street, you are confronted with gender issues that are much less noticeable in the US. what is your experience of being a woman or man in Nicaragua? what privileges or limitations accrue to you by virtue of your sex? what is it like to be a part of a new gender system? what do you feel like saying or doing? what would have to happen for it to change? does Christianity play a part in encouraging the inequality you see? could Christianity play a part in changing it?

response:
these questions are really hard to answer. i don´t have very strong
feelings about gender issues because i guess it´s hard for me to
understand walking in someone else´s shoes or feeling discriminated
against when i come from a middle class family and have never
experienced inequality or discrimination first hand. the one thing
that does get me fired up is that the church is extremely patriarchal
in pretty much every aspect. to me, it´s sad to see how messed up the
various religions become, the difference between the beginning and
the present day religion. for example, in the early days of
Christianity the disciples ate and lived communally, there were women
who spoke to the small Christian communities and they had just as
much power and voice as the men. in Islam too women had some of the
most progressive rights in the middle east and Muhammad’s wife was
his partner and the first to hear his preaching, the first to believe and
encourage him. so what happened? humanity happened, errors
happened, greed and power and corruption happened. in liberation
theology of course women must be addressed because historically
they have been marginalized, stripped of rights and dignity and their
voice. JC shared meals with the prostitute and saved the adulteress from
stoning.
so after all this thinking i wonder where this attitude began, when
did men get the idea that women were somehow beneath them (or for
that matter anything else in creation). so i think the story of adam and
eve has done the world a great deal of harm. first somehow eve gets
blamed for disobeying God and eating from the tree of knowledge, but
it must be noted that while eve was tricked by the trickiest of
snakes-satan, adam was tricked by a mere mortal; who´s the smarter
one? also, in the ancient world the serpent was a symbol of fertility
and wellbeing, not of evil until this story pops up...one must also
ask what kind of god forbids human beings from having knowledge and
awareness? why would god test adam and eve in this way and then
chase them out of the garden of eden with bolts of lightening? my
professor last semester suggested that upon closer inspection this demy-
god of the garden of eden appears to be jealous of humanity that is formed
in the image of God and is afraid of loosing his own position and so he
sets the trap for humanity. furthermore he asked us if eating from
the tree of knowledge was a bad thing since afterwards Eve becomes the
mother of all humanity. i´m still not sure how to interpret this
story but i do know that women weren´t responsible for original sin
any more or less than men and furthermore that the great philosophers
plato and aristotle and even agustine later on were clearly wrong and
infuriating when they said the female was just a defective male. but
perhaps i´m off track with this question...do i feel any
discrimination here in nicaragua being a woman, not really i still
have white skin and i only say that because it seems extremely messed
up to me, after all these years white skin is still considered elite
and desirable. so if anything i feel like i have alot of privileges
that i don´t deserve here, the kindness people show me is incredible
and it boggles my mind sometimes. for instance last summer when i got
all my money stolen crossing the border from Guatemala to el Salvador
a nice man, a guardian angel if you will, gave me five dollars and made
sure i got the right bus to get where i needed to go. i can´t help
but think that would never happen in the US, if someone who sucked at
English got robbed and was lost i don´t see people going out of their
way like that to help them. i like to think i would, but we have all
these worries about personal safety and blah blah blah. so do i think
Christianity can change the inequality between sexes, i think that if
we were truly practicing and following Jesus this question would be
irrelevant. so like i said these are hard questions that i don´t know
if i ever can answer them completely but those were my thoughts.

question 1: in the last few weeks you've hard Nicaraguans raise questions about the virtue of the US government. although none of you came to Nica not knowing the US could be unethical, it is sometimes difficult ot hear so much criticism, especially when you are abroad and perhaps feeling your american-ness in a new way. how do you respond to what you've come to know about US involvement in Nicaragua? what does it mean to call yourself an American and a Christian in this context? in the 1960's, theologian John Courtney Murray, SJ argued that Catholics (who had originally been suspect to the Protestant majority because they were members of a church led by a pope) were good Americans, because they could affirm basic American beliefs in the primacy of God over any government, human rights, and the rule of law. Murray's critics believe that even this limited loyalty is too much for Christians who should stand apart from all nations, pledging loyalty only to God. Is it possible to pledge allegiance to both Christianity and America?

my response:

No. I wish I had my laptop to look up my reflections over this very
question in my war and ethics class that i took a couple semesters
back. I haven´t changed my mind- I still hold that "patriotism",
which in my opinión is always a form of nationalism, has no place in a
world of peace, of human rights & the kingdom of God. Coming back
from El Salvador I had nothing good to say about capitalism,
consumerism or the government. If anything I feel my Americaness, my
whiteness, my blondeness more here than anytime or anyplace else in my
life and I feel the need to apologize; feel the weight of
responsibility & wish to God that people could see beyond what they
see. The thing is that I am being seen, my presence speaks before I
open my mouth, unlike the invisibleness of the marginalized or the
blindness the enslaved peoples throughout history have faced. Even in
that sense I can´t shed my privilege; can't take off this huge neon
sign I seem to be wearing & I want to scream that's not who I am! I'm
not demanding your attention, your favor, your time I want to be
another face in the crowd for just a second & I want that my presence
speaks of me and not this rich, spoiled American (but then again I may
well be those things). How often do we really see beyond appearances
and see someone for who they are-that is seeing God in one
another; loving in a way that has no labels, no numbers, no categories,
no brands. I think that if one can accomplish that, they have
accomplished something of salvation.
We´ve been learning something here about having a prophetic voice and
so in that spirit I feel there is something very very wrong and sick
with American culture, and especially in the values that we hold, the
dreams we dream, and the mentality with which we relate with one
another and with mother earth. Carlos Ruiz said it very well that we
human beings are the biggest epidemic the world has ever seen and our
love of wealth is destroying the very planet. And so how can we, as
Christians, profess a pledge of allegiance to America when everything
that America stands for, especially in a world we're dominating and
exploiting where the majority of the world are living on less than a
dollar a day; how can we claim that this dream is Christianity in the
sense that we're following Christ. Liberation theology has perhaps
succeeded the most in recovering the humanity of the historic Jesus
and in doing so recovering the fact that he was poor, he lived a
simple life, and ultimately he died a humble death on a cross willing
to sacrifice his very life to bring about social change, to liberate
the poor from their oppression. And so in answer to the question I
lack all sense of patriotism and I'm highly suspicious of someone who
can pledge unfailing allegiance to any flag, any nation, any King on
this earth.

Medieval Pacifism & The Classical Just War Tradition

Reading Response Assignment

Amy Nuismer

2/19/07

The first question posed in Just War, Lasting Peace is whether or not one can be both a pacifist and allow for a just war. The answer to this question seems quite obvious to me. The answer is no. The early pacifists were absolute pacifists and completely rejected violent resistance. I think the authors of this book: Kleiderer, Minaert, and Mossa would agree with this stance based on their treatment of the pacifist tradition, “Christians who hold to the pacifist tradition, therefore, believe that it is not permissible for them to participate in war under any circumstances and that peace must be brought about in nonviolent ways” (Kleiderer, Minaert, and Mossa, p.20). However, in Fahey’s book War & the Christian Conscience he defines pacifism very differently and allows for selective pacifism in which supporting a particular just war is deemed possible (Fahey, p.30). I disagree with Fahey’s treatment of pacifism and while I agree that pacifism can be exemplified in varying degrees a true pacifist cannot allow for a just war because under no circumstances is war and bloodshed considered acceptable- it wasn’t acceptable for Jesus and it will never be the right answer.

The second question posed in Just War, Lasting Peace is about self-defense, both personally and as a nation. This is always a hard area to address within the pacifist tradition. The most important thing is to remember that Jesus did not counsel complete submission to oppression or persecution but rather his message was of non-violent resistance. The struggle that faces non-violence is that it is often misunderstood as weak and ineffective. Society is so engrained with violence- in the news, on television, in movies- and it is so often romanticized and idealized that we become desensitized to just how much it has taken control of our thoughts. Non-violent resistance also requires a calmness and awareness under pressure that must be honed and practiced, it requires creativity and strategy and a refusal to demonize the attacker or oppressor. All of these things make it a very difficult pursuit and yet I believe that non-violent resistance is indeed the most powerful transformative agent that we have and if we fail to use it in both our personal relationships and as a global community we will never overcome the violence that threatens to destroy our humanity.

The main justification for just-war theory by Cicero and later Ambrose and Augustine is practicalities and realities. They cannot formulate anything else to combat the problems facing their nation (Rome) except warfare and violent force. They therefore must formulate theologies and justify warfare because the only alternative that they can see is the destruction of self and of God’s created republic. However, the idea of fighting wars with the ultimate goal of peace cannot escape irony. I follow their arguments and I put them in their historical context and yet I wonder if they grappled with what they were writing. Did they believe this to be the ultimate truth-that war was inevitable and Jesus would condone it out of necessity?

In response to the second part of the question of whether we should consider ourselves Americans or Christians first I hope that our generation of globalization and instant communication will finally realize that we are all apart of a global community, our fate is tied up with the fate of man-kind and not just of America or Iraq or Vietnam. If we truly want an end to wars and peace on earth what other way is there than enacting our moral beliefs and converting our enemies? Some will say it isn’t practical, it isn’t reality but what I see is a war being fought in Iraq supposedly in defense of our American way of life and for our safety that is destroying more and more people daily.

The three most important points of the pacifist model in my opinion are: 1) social justice is the foundation of peace, 2) resistance should be nonviolent and 3) we must love our enemies. I feel that several of the ten key points listed overlap. For instance loving ones enemies encompasses there being no “good” and no “bad” guys. Additionally, in order for resistance to be nonviolent, nonviolence must be taught and inculcated in the general population for it to be effective. Social justice is essential in any endeavor to create peace because without that justice there cannot be the state of harmony, order or shalom that defines peace itself.

so once again i haven´t kept my personal promise to write something down everyday but in the midst of being frustrated with myself i suppose that memory works this way anyways and perhaps an experience is better remembered by the things worthy of note rather than a tedious adherence to daily reflection, not to say that i haven´t been reflecting at all but perhaps not to the extent that such a packed and heavy reality sets infront of you. today however was a nice break from stinky ugly and at time unbearable managua as we went hiking in a nature reserve named after the greed birds that live in the rocks-chocoyero. driving to the entrance of the reserve we saw pinas growing on the bush, bananas, and a whole lot of other fruits that i can´t remember or spell at the moment. one word stuck in my mind as my eyes tried to take in the green and the rocks and the mountains and the sky-the vast beauty of a tropical paradise: increible. we hiked with luis and gaby to a waterfall and the rock surface spanned with little caves where the birds constantly landed and took off from. we heard the calls of monkeys but didn´t see them up close, i still have yet to fulfill that mission of seeign a live monkey not attached to rope or put somewhere for tourists. the other goal left is to do sutures at the clinic but i fear with one day left i´ll have to wait until medical school although i have done every other think in the emergency room that there is to do: IM shots in the nalga and arm, subcutaneous insulin shots, IV injection, retiro de puntos, nebulization, bp, temps, starting IV drips...really it´s not that beyond the scope of a nurse assitant in the states so i don´t feel underqualified but it´s fun to practice and i haven´t really messed anythign up!
as i was saying before perhaps the best memories are the ones that really stick and of my time here meeting don alberto was a highlight. Ry an i stayed an extra night at the eco-lodge on tisey mountain after the rest of the delegation from santa cruz left and we set out on a hike that ended in the discovery of an old man with tattered pants and a dirty shirt who smelled of the earth and spoke without taking a breath in his urgency to point out each and every flower and fruit an tree in his own personal paradise that he´d been creating for thirty one years, carefully carving the cliffs of stone into pictures of indigenous women makign tortillas, a tribute to the twin towers, baby jesus in his crib, sandino and reuben dario, long anocandas and the santa maria of Columbus, all carved and recorded in stone along with his name over and over again. we walked away from that enchanted place after sitting at the top and listening to his solitary poems and his genorocity and passion for life as changed people, more sensitive to the magic that still exists and overwhelms you when you stumble upon it on a lazy afternoon filled with adventure. so even if i´d come to nicaragua this summer and only had that afternoon it would have been worth it. perhaps it´s the gabriel garcia marquez i´ve been reading that´s speaking but it truly was a magical little adventure set apart for every in my memory with a hope and a tranquility all its own. i did reach the point a couple weeks ago of asking myself what the hell am i doing here but the epoca passed and now i don´t want to think about leaving...time plays tricks on you in the sense that it never seems regular always speeding up of slowing down at the most inopportune moments-perhaps that´s the miracle of tisey time stopped for us and yet it didn´t really exist either.